I Want a Bacon Sandwich!

Please overnight bacon sandwiches immediately. Have them sent from restaurants that can do that freeze-dried shit for shipping. Crispy bacon, no mayo, (will provide own) and Romaine lettuce preferred. Send to my attention via Veusvio Cafe, 255 Columbus Avenue, San Francisco, CA 94133
UPDATE: A mean, ass-whooping hot German potato salad craving just kicked in as [...]

Peking Duck, Anyone?

I, ummmm, well, I mean, c’mon, this story is just so damn weird:
(KUTV) LOS ANGELES – Authorities are investigating a disturbing case of animal cruelty in southern California, where a duck turned up with a knife sticking out of its back.
The wounded duck was found on Friday by people at Huntongton Beach, near Los Angeles. [...]

Another Pledge Drive, Lorenzo Lamas, And More

So this afternoon I finished the first draft of a screenplay for a proposed Lorenzo Lamas low-budget movie – not quite a direct-to-DVD effort if they shoot the script I turned in. More of an art film. With Lorenzo Lamas. Now I’m just waiting to get paid. Not a lot of money, though. It’s low-budget. [...]

Easy Money

Between drinks, having a smoke in Jack Kerouac Alley. I’ve been sitting at the bar all afternoon, making notes on a low-budget screenplay that I’m required to begin writing tomorrow — well, when I say “required” I mean that I took a half-way decent advance eight months ago and haven’t delivered yet and now they [...]

Knowledge of the Ground

I’m working my way through my second White Russian at the bar in Vesuvio. It’s two o’clock in the afternoon and it’s as cold as a witch’s tit out there. Only five days ago San Francisco scored a record May temperature of eighty-eight degrees and locals were bitching like it was a harbinger of glacial [...]

Against the Grain

“It’s definitely gluten intolerance,” I said.
“I told you so. How did you figure it out?” His comment was punctuated by the harsh blare of car horns and a muttered ‘Get the fuck out of my way, bitch.’ Cal was mired in traffic somewhere on the 405 in L.A. I was, as usual, standing in Jack [...]